Divorce...not mine

I watched the show John and Kate plus eight tonight and they announced they were getting a divorce. Watching that show tonight was so heavy and it all felt so wrong. I wanted to jump through the screen and talk to them. I wanted to ask them if they had really done everything they could to save their marriage. Have they gotten counseling? Have they worked to know what each others needs are and how they can meet them? Have they laid aside their own pride and desire to be right for the sake of really hearing the other person?

I in no way have a perfect marriage and I have all of these questions because I know what it takes for Josh and I to work out our differences. Marriage can be hard and I can't even imagine what it would be like to have their lives and to keep their relationship as a priority. Even still, I know there had to be a way. If there was no infidelity and it's just two people who now are "going in different directions" it doesn't seem fair. It's not fair to their children, it's not fair to each other. They promised to love each other until death parted them. They brought eight children into the world. It really doesn't seem like they should be allowed to get divorced. I know that's not a rational thought but that's what it feels like. It's really just so sad to me...I'm crying now even as I'm writing this because it's just all so wrong. It's wrong that those children will be able to watch their parent's marriage fall apart later on in life on reruns of the show. It's wrong and so terribly sad. I feel like I could cry all night for all of them, the parents and the children. Who wants to be alone? Who wants to take care of eight children by yourself? Who wants to break up the team? I know this is horribly depressing but that's how it is. Divorce is horrible. The people who get divorced are not horrible. It's just that the pain caused and the effect is has for a lifetime is unmeasurable.

I wish that something could be done. I wonder if they wish that they had done something differently. Do they regret the show? I would. I would want to go back in time and do it all over again. My heart goes out to them and is truly breaking for their whole family. It's weird how you can have feelings towards people you've never met and don't know you at all.

Jesus, hold each one of them.

What happens?

So I've been pondering a question regarding a situation with my Kids' Directory. I thought I'd share it and see what anyone else has to say about it.

I think I may have missed God's timing in something and I'm just trying to figure out what I think about it all. A woman called me back in December asking if I was hiring any sales reps because she was looking for something part-time. Her current job had just moved her to full-time and she was not happy about it. I told her without thinking about it at all that, no, we weren't hiring but when we needed to hire someone I would give her a call. I thought it was cool that someone was calling me but I "knew" that we weren't at a place to hire someone so that was that.

So fast forward about three or four months and Josh and I are talking about how we really need to hire a sales rep because I'm burnt out on the sales end (it's been coasting since January) and I don't want to put in the time that it's going to take to really keep it going and grow the directory. Of course I think of the woman who had called me and give her a call. We talk a little and she lets me know that she took a job at Delaware Today about a month ago but it's full-time so she'd still be interested in hearing about the job. It took us over a month to schedule a time to meet that didn't have to be cancelled and rescheduled. So we meet last week and I get to hear about her past job and her current job at Delaware Today. From everything I can see about her personality and her experience, she would be such a great asset.

I can't help but wonder if she didn't call me back in December at what could have been the perfect time for both her and I to start working together. To top off my frustration with myself, she tells me at the interview that her boss came to her that day and offered her a part-time, commission only deal where she could work from home mostly. What?! My main angle that I had to take with her was wiped away with this offer from her boss.

Did I miss God's timing? I didn't ask him back when she first called if this was a door he was opening. I just went with my own, natural thinking that it was too soon and I should be doing it myself. I can't help but think though that if she had wanted the job back in January then for one, she wouldn't have taken the Delaware Today job and things would be going better with the directory because she'd be selling more ads than I am.

I know God redeems all things that we allow him to and that he also gives us plenty of chances to make the right choice. I have asked him to forgive me for not even consulting him before and I am praying now as well for this situation. It's just that now it's a lot more complicated and if I were her I think I'd probably stay with Delaware Today. Not because it actually will be a better job for her but just because if you're given the choice between something you already know and can count on and something that is new and not as established...most would opt for the first. Maybe she's a risk taker though and wants a different challenge. Maybe God's still going to open this door. Or maybe not. Maybe I missed the opportunity. Not because he's mean but because I made a decision. I guess we'll see...