It's working

I’m happier now. Some of it has to do with my work schedule not being so crazy I’m sure but some of it is definitely Jesus answering my prayers for peace. I am experiencing moments, and even more than moments, where I feel content here in the present. This morning I enjoyed a fun breakfast with my two beautiful, blue-eyed girls instead of accepting the dread that can come in the morning because of the mental list of all my to-dos.  I enjoyed getting to go shopping for a little while with just Maddie while Laura took Noelle. I didn’t let myself think of all the other practical things I could have gotten done instead. I just enjoyed my daughter’s company and had fun being out. I even let myself buy a few things for myself and didn’t buy things for the girls instead. Living in the present instead of wishing I had done more in the past or worrying about what I need to do in the future is going to be life changing for me if I can continue it. It makes each individual day so much more peaceful and fulfilling. I guess Jesus was onto something when he told us not to worry about tomorrow and not to be anxious. 

I have wasted so much mental and emotional energy wishing I had done more or worrying that I won’t be able to do what I need to. I’m happy to say that I am changing. It’s like another piece to the puzzle has been added. All the little steps of asking God to help me and letting the Holy Spirit search me, they have led to a big step where now I can see the progress that’s been made. It feels good. It feels good to know that if I continue to receive the peace that comes with being here in the present, with all the grace I need available to me, this doesn’t have to be just a period of time that I live like this. 

I have always loved the verse “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” There are so many verses that I have known are true for a long time but it’s as I continue to live my life with Jesus that they work themselves into who I am and there is an even deeper “knowing” that it is true. I have presented my requests to God, with some petitioning involved, and his peace is now guarding my heart and mind. So simple, yet so profound. It’s such a basic concept but when it’s actually practiced and worked out in a real way, it’s life changing.