Out of the blue, we are seriously looking at putting our house up for sale as soon as possible, with the hopes of it selling by the summer. It's strange how there are always a million options in our lives but until you have a specific, new idea, the current plan just seems like your only option. About a week ago, Josh brought up the idea of trying to sell this summer instead of next summer and honestly my first reaction was, no way, that's not going to happen. I knew we were going to move, most likely in about a year and a half. A change like that felt exciting and sat comfortably in me when it was still seemingly far away. But putting it on the table for now, well that was completely different.
I was surprised by how unsettled it first made me. I think I pride myself on being up for most anything and I'm not terribly afraid of change. But it hit me hard that we were going to be the ones to sell the house my parents bought when my mom was pregnant with me, 36 years ago this spring. The house where all of my childhood memories happened. And now for six years it's been the home my children have known and we've made our own memories. I think of the community of people who have come through this house, the people my parents invited in. I think about all the sleepovers, birthday parties, and late night talks that have happened in these walls. So many wonderful conversations, so many dreams, so many experiences of God speaking his goodness. It makes me feel so full of emotion. The kind where it's in your throat, not quite spilling over yet.
I love this house. I love that I had a great childhood here, filled with wonderful family and friends. I love that I've been able to share this house with my family. That my kids have played in the same leaves I did, and have waded in the same creek. I love shared experiences.
But I also love new adventures. I love good change. I love the idea of not having to drive an hour and a half taking kids to and from school each day. It's fun to think of living more in the country and close to a lot of friends.
Who knows what will happen, even if we put it up for sale, we won't be in control of when it sells. I think that'll be comforting in a way. We'll do our part and then see what happens. But when it does sell, I know one thing for sure. I'll be sad, and I'll cry. I'll grieve what was, even as I look forward to what is coming.
1 comment:
Wow, that will be huge. I've always been glad that you owned the house where I spent many wonderful evenings with your parents and that I was able to visit a few times since they moved.
Maybe you can sell it "in the family" (i.e., within the church). I was able to do that with my first house, the Webb Road House, and it helped to know that I was able to go back a few times and see the place that had meant so much to me.
But yes, you will be taking the most important parts with you - your family, and your memories. I hope that this project works out to your benefit and isn't too stressful!
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